Introspective Wood Shavings

It has been too long since I have written.  Over the last weeks and maybe even few months I have been reevaluating the role of the Wood Shavings (WS).  Maybe role is not even right, if it is even God’s will.  A big struggle is related to the nature of writing.  In general I feel it is a bit narcissistic.

I want what I share to be an encouragement to pray for all who take the time to read the WS.  Another motivation for me is the chance to challenge people spiritually as well (disciple making).  Further reasons to write are that it forces me to think about what I write and to process some of my searching.  But in the end it is basically about me most of the time.  I want it to be all about our Heavenly Father.  Any advice or feedback would be appreciated?

As I search for the next sentence to write, I believe the Lord just put in my mind the word discipline (D).  One of the other motivations for writing is to develop D.  I don’t like the D word.  I like to go with the flow and to generally react to the moment’s needs.  The problem is that too often I end up doing too little for the lack of D.  If other people were to plan my activities I would be a lot more efficient and effective most likely.  But I could waste a lot of time waiting for others to schedule meetings, plan what needs to take place in the church, etc.  The bottom line is that God has made it clear He expects me to be more D-ed.  The reason this is true, probably the most important, is spiritually.

The more I seek to lead others, it is truly shocking that I am the pastor of the InterNational Church of Wroclaw (INCW), the more God leads me to Himself.  Me leading others is not fundamentally what is needed.  That He can use me in the life of others is the key.  This applies for every believer, I believe.  Though our Father has different callings for each of us, He first must have us!  He must have me.  This starts with salvation and continues until death as discipleship, I believe.

Jesus modeled this so perfectly in Mark 1:35.  “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.”  Jesus greatest desire, I believe out of His greatest need, was for intimacy with His Father.

I believe one of the things I am learning is the principle of – want or desire.  Maybe this is one of the fundamental changes when a person become a true believer.  Our desire shifts from what I want to wanting Him and His will.  So the simple test is if I don’t want Him, or Him very much other than some kind of habit like attending a Sunday service, then something is wrong.  Isn’t it true that if I don’t need to be in relationship with Him every day then something is wrong?  I need food and water or I will die.  If I don’t want intimacy with God, because of my fundamental need, am I not dead or dying spiritually?

So to conclude, I probably lost you already, what do you want?  I am asking what I really want.  I am asking why I too often decide to read other things like the news about the  Seahawks going to the Super Bowl before reading my Bible and praying.  I do so little praying.  I fail to memorize scripture.  I don’t have a burning desire/need to get up before it is light to be with my Heavenly Father!

But I do want to want Him over everyone and everything (Luke 14:26).  Thank You Lord!